I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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