how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
