Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
