Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
