I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
