i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
