wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
