dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
