Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
