A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
