She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
