so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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