Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In other news, I just burned my penis
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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