hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
