im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
