We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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