The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
