When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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