Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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