I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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