i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
