Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
