It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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