My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
