i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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