he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
