SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
