tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
