fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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