i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
