Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's just like the Real World with babies
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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