its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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