Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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