I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
