YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
