all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
