Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
