Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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