I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
