We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we have pet lesbian snakes
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
