Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
