I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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