and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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