Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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