found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
