I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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