We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
