My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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