OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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