Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
