he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
