Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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